Auntie Diaries

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Aunty Diaries

[Intro: Kendrick Lamar & Eckhart Tolle]
The heart plays in ways the mind can’t understand
The heart plays in a way that the mind cannot—
The heart plays in ways the mind can’t understand
This is how we conceptualize the human being

[Verse 1: Kendrick Lamar]
My aunt is a man now
I think I’m old enough to understand now
Drinking Paul Masson with his hat turned inside out
Motorola pager, off-white Guess jacket
Blue Air Max’s, gold chains and buckle kits
’93 Nissan wax job, longest running
Big social, big personality, vocal
Played the underground verbatim and stayed local
My aunt is a man now
I watch him and his girlfriend hold their hands down
The tip of the avenues under the lampposts makes its
Thinking, “I want me to be a bad female dog when I grow up”
They hug on the corner like the king of California
Cold hand all over her skirt, cars whistle on the road
You see, my aunt is a man now, slight bravado
Scratch the likes of the lotto
Hoping it stops tomorrow
So I can hang out in the front seat
Six by nine keeping the music under me
My aunt is a man now
I asked my mom why my uncles didn’t like her that much
And at the parties why they always want to fight it so much
She said, “I can’t say
Niggas always been jealous ’cause he got more women
More money and more attention is more envy
Calling him anything other than broke was less offensive.”

[Verse 2: Kendrick Lamar]
My aunt is a man now
I think I’m old enough to understand now
Drinking Paul Masson with his hat turned inside out
Back when it was comic relief to say “Faggot”
Grandpa, fag, fag, we don’t know any better
Primary children without a filter, however

My aunt became a man and I was proud of it
She wasn’t gay, she ate pussy, and that was the difference
That’s what I told my friends in second grade
She picks me up from school, they look her in the face
They couldn’t figure out what I got used to

We pull out Quik like nothing happened
My aunt is a man now, what a relationship
I grew up fast, I didn’t need no one to babysit
He gave me money then gave me game
Cherry air freshener on the dash, never complained
She even dabbed my hair, loved my fade
The first person I saw write a rap
That’s when my life changed
House full of demo, smoke stuck to the window
Cameras on the mic, all women and all men though
My aunt used to be a man now we cool with it
The story had passed and had made us ignorant
My favorite cousin said he reciprocated
And follow my aunt with the same behavior

[Verse 3: Kendrick Lamar]
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
He’s more confident to live out his plan now
But the family in disbelief this time
Convince yourself, “He does not live discreetly, he is fine”
They said they never saw it in him, but I saw it
Barbie dolls played the reflection of Venus
He built a wall so high you couldn’t climb it
He didn’t laugh so hard when the kids started joking
“Queer, queer, queer”, we don’t know any better
College kids with no filter, though
I had to be very careful of my good cousin
I knew exactly who he was, but I still loved him

[Verse 4: Kendrick Lamar]
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
I mean he really is Mary-Ann, he even took it a step further
Changed gender before Bruce Jenner was certain
Living your truth even if it meant seeing a surgeon

We didn’t talk for a while, he seemed more distant
Wasn’t comfortable with me, everything was offensive

But I remember we both had a sick sense of humor
Fact raw, but time changes everything

[Verse 5: Kendrick Lamar]
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
Remember church on Easter Sunday?
I sat on the pew, you had stronger faith
More spiritual when these niggas lived life straight
Which I found ironic because the pastor didn’t see it the same way
He said my cousin was going through some things
He promised the world we live in was an act of abomination
And Demetrius was to blame
I knew you conflicted with the preacher’s feelings
I wonder if God still calls you a decent man
Yet you found the courage to be submissive just to anoint
Until he chooses you to prove his point, saying

[Verse 6: Kendrick Lamar]
“Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
Church, his aunt is a man now”, it hurts
You are the most because your belief was close to his words
Forcing me to stand now
I said, “Mr. Preacherman, should we love your neighbor?
The laws of the earth or of the heart, what is greater?
I recognize the study she learned from birth
But that doesn’t justify the feelings that my cousin has retained”
The building was thinking out loud, bad angel
That’s when you looked at me and smiled, said “thank you”
The day I chose humanity over religion

Family grew closer, all was forgiven
I told ’em F-bombs, I don’t know better
Wrongly, I don’t think you would know anything different
See, I was taught that words were nothing more than sound
If ever they were spoken without any intention
The second you challenged the shit that I was typing
Reminded me of a show I did in town
This time I brought a fan on stage to rap
But frowned on the word she couldn’t say with me
You said “Kendrick, there’s no room for contradiction
To really understand love, change your position
‘Faggot, faggot, faggot’, we can say it together
But only if you let a white girl say ‘Nigga'”

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